Sunday, June 20, 2010
I know, I know...it seems like I've been "gone" for some time. But really, I've just been very busy with my private life...and, starting this coming week, I will be officially "back"! Back to regular site updates, back to regular blog entries, back to shooting new content (both for my site as well as very select, limited pro work) and back to regular tweeting on Twitter. I promise!
So, where do I begin? Some time ago I had posted on how doing so much pro video work at once really wasn't my "thing" back when we left Los Angeles to head back East. But, aside from that, the primary catalyst for us moving all the way back across country was the fact that Mother Nature did a real number on a home we own there soon after our renters moved out. I won't get into the details, but it required some serious renovations...and it was a new, gorgeous house! Packing up and moving coast-to-coast again within a year, with a family, to come "home" to a disaster was quite an ordeal. It was all very taxing on Steve and I, especially since it was holiday time. It seemed for a time there that our world had turned upside-down.
I did not deal with the stress very well. I started making "comfort food" as well as the usual traditional holiday foods, which we normally don't eat. It was an escape for Steve and I to sit down at home at the end of a long day of juggling things and have a glass of wine, sometimes 2 or 3...I won't lie. While living in L.A. we both stopped working out so we would have energy for shooting pro scenes as well as amateur scenes for my site and, on top of that, our eating habits had turned bad. Get up, have coffee, head to set, eat nothing and drink very little water so I wasn't "full" or "bloated" for the sex portion, 6-8 hours later head home totally exhausted not to mention starving and order food in from our favorite little Italian restaurant and yes, drink wine with dinner. It was the complete opposite of the very fit and healthy lifestyle we've lived for years.
With that new bad habit for starters, then the stress of our return move, pound after pound piled on. Don't get me wrong....in retrospect I wasn't really that overweight...in fact, I was not even clinically overweight...just overweight and out of shape by my own standards. I felt disgusted with myself and quite frankly, a bit depressed. So, eventually growing tired of my own "self-pity party", I focused on the one thing I could control again...my health & fitness. With that in mind, Steve and I started hitting the gym hard again in January...just like we always used to do. By April we were going twice a day, 6 days a week...cardio in the morning and weights at night, all while eating completely "clean".
The result? I've lost 25 pounds since I started digging myself out of my hole in January and am actually in the best shape I've ever been in....I've got my "sexy" back! (Steve, too, is totally ripped and looks 1/2 his age again.) And during that time we repaired the damage to our beautiful home in full...so no more stress in that regard, either.
In all honesty, when I don't feel good about myself, I just do NOT feel sexy...and having a site is all about being sexy. I didn't want to meet with other guys or gals, either on or off-camera. While I was doing the bare minimum of my cam shows (all the while getting nasty-grams from people about my weight... which didn't help) and answering e-mail and processing DVD orders, we both pulled away, emotionally-speaking, from the site. We've been online for 12 years now, sharing the most intimate part our lives with everyone and every once in a while, real life just happens. It's hard sharing your downs when people expect you to be happy, sweet and sexy 24/7. For awhile there I didn't even want to put on makeup or do my hair let alone get in front of a camera...and, likewise, Steve didn't feel like picking up a camera or even playing off-camera.
We LOVE having a web site...but at times it can be overwhelming. It really is just Steve and I that do this, alone. We are not some big corporate site with a staff (as we know some sites are). Real world catastrophes such as what happened to our house back east happen. All these things add up.
We have some new trips planned to shoot with fans after the great response to our recent Ft. Lauderdale trip, and I'm recharged and ready to romp again. Ditto for Steve! So, in short, thank you to all of you who have hung in there with me and had faith in me. I hate to let anyone down! I wouldn't be here with out you and truly appreciate your support over the years. I had to pull myself up by my proverbial boot straps and get back in the game of life. While this might be more information than any of you wanted to know, (I usually don't get so personal)I felt I owed it to you.
Meanwhile, I wanted to give you a sneak preview of a new photo layout I'll be posting at Janet Exposed this week, taken from two professional glamour modeling shoots just this past week. I hope you like them...I'm in the best shape of my life, feeling sexier than ever and am ready to roll with a vengeance!