Thursday, December 31, 2009
2009/2010: Looking back & looking ahead...
Wow...I can hardly believe another year has passed! So much has happened in the last 12 months that 2009 seemed to go by faster than almost any year of my life thus far.
First, a look backward at 2009. It's certainly no secret that 2009 is the year I "went pro"...well, sort of, anyway. Although Steve and I still ran my primary amateur site, Janet Exposed, the fact is immediately after we moved to Los Angeles last winter, the offers for top-paying, high-profile pro shoots came hard and heavy and I found them difficult to resist...at least at first.
Why do I say "at first"? Do I regret doing pro work at all? Well, yes and no. "No" because Steve and I met some really great people...guys and gals who wanted to shoot with us for my site as well as just plain friends with no sexual aspect to the relationship at all. "Yes" because we also met far too many people who in the business for all the wrong reasons, because there were too many times when I'd show up for a shoot only to find out that it was something I would not normally want to do at all but was already obligated to do and, finally, because I was so busy (sometimes shooting as many as 5-6 scenes a week!) that it often would seem like "work" instead of the fun, exhilarating sex I love and am used to on the shoots Steve and I do for our own site. Last but not least, we had very little time for anything else and had to back way off on our primary (and non-adult related) business, which we love.
Don't get me wrong...I'm not going to go on a rant about the "bad" part of pro porn world. I learned a lot, had some good times and met enough decent people who were genuinely into it that it was not a "bad" experience. But will I focus so heavily on pro work anymore, or do it anywhere near full-time status again? No, never again...from now on it will be only now and then, on a select basis. Let's just say that the pro world was not what I expected it to be and that for every company, director or performer who was great and everything I could have possibly hoped for, there were five more companies, directors or performers whom I would never consider shooting with again. I will not mention any names...either the good ones or the bad ones. I have taken responsibility for my choices, have learned my lesson and am moving on.
To that end, a look forward at 2010. Putting our actions where our words are, Steve and I actually moved back east (much to the chagrin of our kids, who loved California) in order to get away from the L.A. pro porn world and focus on what we do best and enjoy most...our own amateur sites, on a part-time basis only. Real sex with real fans who are really into it. We also intend to re-focus on our primary, non-adult business, which we not only find very fulfilling but which provides a healthy balance that we sorely missed in 2009.
Will I still do occasional pro scenes in L.A.? Since we visit the area several times a year, I may...but only very few scenes per year for select companies...and only those types of scenes which accurately reflect the "real me" and what I am genuinely into...very well-endowed black men, clean-cut and very fit younger white guys, other women and my personal kinks such as handjobs, facials, foot fetish, etc. At no point will I ever consider doing another scene that is not something I'd do in my personal life again (such as bondage) and, if I am ever deliberately misled by a director again, I will simply walk off set...that is a promise to myself, to Steve and to my fans. I'd rather shoot for my own site with a fan who really wants to be there than get paid for a pro shoot I'm not into. It's just not worth it to me and Steve & I are financially fortunate enough to be able to to have that kind of attitude.
Likewise, Steve and I will not be at AVN this year nor will we attend any other "adult industry" parties, conventions, etc. We tried that, briefly, while in L.A. and it's just not us. We are just not "party people"...we don't drink heavily, we don't do drugs, and we're not into hanging out in clubs all night, etc. We're way too squeaky-clean and health/fitness oriented, for one thing, plus as parents our "real" life as a family takes priority. Frankly, there are a million things we'd rather talk about than the "adult industry".
In short, we are going back to what we used to be before I tried pro work...a close-knit, regular couple with kinky tastes in sex who have the good fortune to be able to share it online in a deliberately amateur style with like-minded people. Once again we will focus on my web sites. I'll be updating my blog much more often...and, as a bonus, Steve will be contributing his own blog posts from the "husband's perspective"...not only because many of you have been requesting that he do so, but also because we really let the fact that we do what we do as a couple...and a happy one at that...slide to the background as my pro work brought me a certain level of "celebrity" which I have found I am not really comfortable with.
That being said, I want to thank each and every one of you for all the love and support you've shown me over the past 11 years online and I wish you all a Happy New Year. Steve and I are both very excited about recommitting to our "Mom & Pop" amateur status and we both look forward to interacting with you in 2010!