Thursday, December 20, 2007
As another year draws to a close, 'tis the season to reflect on the past and plan for the future. In keeping with that spirit, Steve and I spent last night sitting by the fireplace with a bottle of excellent Pinot Noir and had a great discussion about the role of the 'lifestyle' in our relationship...especially the experiences we have had over the years that truly define us...and our plans explore those themes further in 2008 and the years to come.
One of those themes is big cocks...really big cocks. The importance of cock size is one of those controversial subjects that elicits strong reactions on both sides of the proverbial fence. Many people want a "definitive" answer to whether cock size matters or not to women and, if so, how much. However, the simple fact is there is no single answer that applies to all women equally. I can't speak for any other women...but I can tell you that yes, in my case, size does matter. It is certainly no big secret to anyone who knows me, either personally or through my web site and videos, that I am a true "size queen"...there's almost nothing that gets me turned on faster (or makes me orgasm harder and more frequently) than a really long, thick dick. Some men find that arousing. Some find it intimidating. But my husband and I love it...and that's all that really matters.
Don't get me wrong...a really big cock is not the be-all and end-all or the Alpha and Omega for me...it's more of what I would call a natural predilection and a strong preference. For example, I wouldn't marry a guy just because he had a big dick if he was lacking in other personal qualities necessary for a sustained relationship...but the fact is that I am already a happily married woman and I'm not looking for a "relationship" of any kind. I'm just looking for hot, purely physical sex with no strings attached...the exact same thing that most men are looking for. I don't want love, romance or slow seduction, because I already have those things...I just want to meet a hot guy, fuck like animals and go our separate ways, exhausted and satisfied. And for that, I'll take a guy with a big dick any day...and the bigger, the better. His job, his intellect and his conversation skills really don't matter because we may not ever see each other again. I've already got all those and other important relationship-based qualities in my husband, Steve (who just happens to have a big cock himself, as I'll address soon.) But for casual sex, as long as the guy can get hard, I am guaranteed to have one mind-blowing orgasm after another once I get his huge dick inside of me.
As Steve and I talked about my love of truly large cocks and how much he enjoys watching my face as I worship them or climax on them, the image of the photo above popped into my head. Taken back in early 2002, it shows me getting fucked senseless by a black stud 10 1/2 years my junior with a thick 10" cock and that "Energizer Bunny" kind of sexual stamina that only young men in their sexual prime can muster. It's perfectly preserved image of a special moment in time that really defines who I am as a sexual being. On my site, this horse-hung young man goes by the name of "Mr. Big". We met back in 1998, when he was 20 and I was 31, and we fucked regularly for 4 years straight before he graduated from school and moved to another state. (We did reunite once in 2006, but that's another post!) Although I'd had sex with black men before, none were anywhere close to as well-endowed. So Mr. Big ended up providing not only my first truly huge black cock experience but also my first "younger man" experience after I had passed the crucial (from a woman's perspective) age of 30, and he truly changed my life forever.
So...back to the beginning...you know I'm a size queen...but why? How did it all start?
When Steve and I met in the late 80s, I was surprised (and secretly thrilled) to find that he had a big cock. (See photo below...that's my baby!) Being so young, I'd actually never seen a big dick before...although I'd heard stories about them from other girls and had seen their knowing smiles, so I was naturally curious. But every guy I had ever dated prior to Steve was endowed pretty much average or on the smallish side. I found that Steve's larger-than-I'd-ever-seen-before cock excited me not just visually and psychologically but physically as well...there was something indescribably pleasurable about feeling more "filled" with a big cock when we made love that made my orgasms more intense than any I'd ever experienced with lesser-endowed men. I basically spent the first few months of our relationship in what can only be described as "cock worship" mode...I stroked, sucked and fucked him every day and could spend hours just laying between his legs or with my head on his stomach, admiring his beautiful, well-formed cock and balls, which I kept well-drained. Every single morning I jacked him off onto my mouth and drank his sperm before taking my shower, and every single night I sucked him off in bed before we slept...and that doesn't include the constant fucking we did in between! I was literally obsessed with his cock. That was the first time I can remember having "size queen" feelings, although at that time I'd not yet heard of the term.
Needless to say, Steve wasn't complaining. He was used to women getting off on the size of his cock - including those who would publicly say that "size doesn't matter" in order to protect fragile male egos. But, having been involved in the swinging scene with couples as a young, single guy for several years before we met, he knew better...he'd seen the reactions of far too many housewives when they saw and experienced his or some other guy's significantly larger-than-average cock for the first time. Being the kind of ego-free guy he is, he also had no problem admitting to me that even though he knew he had a "pretty big" cock (his words), he claimed it was not a huge one...and he then added that, although big cocks were not common at all, there were still guys out there in the world with dicks that would make his look small in comparison. He knew this for a fact...he'd seen a few in his swinging days during gangbangs, and a lot of them in porn movies. I was shocked and curious.
"Really? How big?" I asked innocently...and more than a little nervously. I tried to mask my curiosity, as I didn't want the man I knew I was to marry to think of me as a slut. I didn't do a very good job of it.
"This big," he replied, looking me straight in the eye with his hands held almost twice as far apart as the length of his own big cock. "Sometimes even longer. And thick, too. I wish I had one, but I can't complain...I'm already blessed as it is!"
"Wow," I said. "That's amazing! I can't imagine!" I knew my face was blushing...I wished I could see one myself.
Remember, this was the late 80s and I was very young...still an undergrad in college. There was no Internet yet (thus no adult web sites for me to check out), and I was just beginning to truly explore my sexuality. So Steve took me to an adult book store for the very first time in my life, where we planned to find some video and magazines that featured guys with huge dicks - and women who craved them. I can clearly remember the flushed, excited feeling I got when I saw my first erotic photos and videos...attractive men and women with nice bodies, openly enjoying their nudity, fucking and sucking with abandon, cocks and pussies and tits and semen everywhere. I didn't want to admit it, but I loved it. And the first time I saw a truly huge dick - in an old photo of the late, famous John Holmes - I knew, right then and there, that I was a confirmed size queen. I wasn't even looking at his face or his body...ditto for other guys in other photos...just their massive cocks and balls. I was drawn to them like a horse is to water. Utterly transfixed and wanting to submit to one. To feel it splitting me in two, filling me like nothing I'd yet experienced. To suck it. To stroke it. To have it ejaculate in my mouth and swallow its seed. To have it shoot ropes of hot, virile sperm deep inside my womb. To worship it as a symbol of ultimate male virility...fantasy in the flesh.
As it turned out, one tape we brought home that day was interracial. I didn't realize it at the time...Steve had picked it up, among others, as I worked through my embarrassment of being in an adult book store for the first time (worrying that someone I knew might possibly see me there!) mixed with natural curiosity and a new kind of deep arousal from the graphic sexual images all around me. If I had known it was interracial, I probably would have objected...that would be too much, too soon for my newfound curiosity. Or at least that's what I would have said. ;) Steve, however, had a gut feeling that I'd love it. In his early days as a swinger he'd seen more than a few women go crazy for big black cock.
The tape was called "Midnight Fantasies"...and the very first scene was a killer. It featured a super-muscular, dark-skinned and very well-hung black stud named Ray Victory having hot sex with a pretty white woman name Asia. Within minutes I was so aroused that I had a wet spot the size of a dinner plate showing through through my pants...I'd never even thought about interracial sex before, much less seen it...and it just touched something deep inside of me. Steve saw my instantaneous (and very extreme) reaction and just smiled knowingly as he pulled me to the floor and ripped my clothes off. This was not "making love" anymore...I nearly fucked his cock off at the root as I watched (and re-watched) my first interracial sex scene. I came so hard that I literally got a headache from the intensity of my orgasm.
After we caught our breath, Steve, picking up on my innermost feelings as he always does, told me of some experiences he'd had as a swinger in which he'd seen white wives (and even an old girlfriend of his) who just totally freaked over sex with aggressive, super well-hung black guys, and how it was hot to watch. When he told me that the husbands never got jealous and even encouraged their wives to "go black" because of how happy it made them...well, that just got me even hotter. Sensing my interest, he told me that we could try it someday, too, if I wanted...that if the idea of it aroused me so much, he wanted me to experience it. That he loved me that much, and trusted me. That night led to us eventually becoming "swingers" as a couple. We discussed it many times and knew we were headed there, but we wanted to take our time and make sure it would be something that would enhance, not detract from, our relationship.
Flash forward several years, after we had married and started raising a family. After a slow-ish start, we eventually found some couples and singles we clicked with. Maybe it was because he'd already had 6 years of experience in the lifestyle as a single guy and had lived out the fantasies most any guy could possibly have by he time he'd reached his mid-20's and met me, but it eventually became clear that, in our hearts of hearts, Steve was more of a voyeur and I was more of an exhibitionist. Simply put, we found that he enjoyed watching me have sex with other men as much as - and sometimes even more than - he enjoyed having sex with other women...that I was the only woman he really got into fucking so intensely. At the same time, I really got off on having him watch me let go and get wild...it made the sex with other guys much more intense for me. Plus, it wasn't "cheating" that way. And that's what led me to leading the "hotwife" lifestyle.
So we started meeting more and more with single guys and less and less with couples - unless the couples were into the hotwife scene. Still, the hunt was on for a truly huge cock...we'd not yet found a guy with one bigger than Steve's, even the black guys we'd met, and I really wanted to experience one just like the studs in the porn movies we watched.
Just when I was starting to feel discouraged, along came Mr. Big, who contacted us via an ad we had placed on a swingers web site. I was really nervous to meet him...in part because he was only 20 years old. I was flattered on the one hand but on the other hand, would he really want to be with an "old woman" of 31 who had kids? Such was the state of my naivety...at that time, I had no idea how hot (or common) the "older woman/younger man, purely physical sex" subject was. And of course the other part was due to his cock size...he'd sent photos of it and proved that it was him by including his face...and it was a monster! Long, thick, veiny and as dark as black coffee, with a big set of low-hanging balls, the lust I felt just from looking at the photos made me tremble inside. Would I actually be able to handle a dick that big? And would Steve really not get jealous watching me stroke, suck and fuck this horse-hung young stud? I knew he enjoyed watching me with other guys we'd met, but this was different. This was...well, a female equivalent of a wet dream. I knew he loved me, but wasn't this pushing the limits of his understanding?
I needn't have worried. Mr. Big and I hit it off right away. He was (and still is) very quiet yet also very direct, and he was clearly "into" me. He and Steve got along great, and he had no problem with Steve watching us. He told us that he had never been with a white woman before, nor had he ever been with an older woman, either...but he made it clear that he was ready and eager to try both, right away.
Hearing that, I reached over and put my hand on his leg, got in close and asked him sweetly if he would please "show me what you've got for me". He laughed, a little embarrassed, as I did, too. Then he stood up, pulled down his pants and dropped them to the floor, standing there in only his boxers with a huge bulge in them, straining against the material of his drawers. As if in a trance, I reached out with trembling hands, my heart pounding in my chest, and pulled down the waistband of his boxers to expose the cock that would forever change my life. The moment it sprang into view, bobbing heavily in my face, I felt myself flush hotly and heard myself gasp as if it were someone else's voice. It was everything I hoped it would be....everything I'd dreamed of i my wildest, most taboo fantasies. I was lost in total, overwhelming animal lust.
Time seemed to stand still. I looked over at Steve, who was watching me intently with a mixture of intense love and equally intense voyeuristic pleasure. As our eyes met in silent communication, I knew that this was my destiny...to be a shared wife, one whose husband enjoyed spoiling her to the point where even her most taboo sexual desires would come to fruition...to live a life of hedonistic pleasure supplied by an adoring partner who understood me and encouraged me to be who I truly was, without secrets. I then looked back at the huge, pulsating young black cock in bobbing up and down in my face and I just let go, devouring it...kissing, licking, sucking and stroking this young ebony stud to his full length and hefting his huge, heavy balls.
I was so incredibly turned on that there was no need for lube...nor even for any foreplay. I was ready to fuck right away. I looked up at him and pulled him down to the floor with me as I leaned back and spread my legs wide for him, this virile, much-younger black man with a cock made in heaven who was as hot for me as I was for him. Mr. Big wasted no time "getting busy" and was soon parting the wet, swollen lips of my hot, tight pussy with the thick, bulbous head of his shaft. It was a tight fit at first, and the sheer girth of his cock head splitting me open took my breath away again, causing me to orgasm within seconds with only the head inside me. He continued to work more of his gigantic black cock into my petite white body and within moments we were just fucking like animals, with me taking the entire length of him deep inside of me as I came twice more, quickly and back to back as I felt his big balls pressing up against my anus. I opened my eyes and looked down to see that huge black pole filling my tight, white married pussy as Steve watched me with a raging hard on in his pants, and I knew I'd never be the same woman again.
Mr. Big and I ended up fucking so much, for so long, that night that I was totally exhausted, with him showing the amazing sexual stamina typical of guys his age (as I would soon learn) but also showing a surprising ability to hold back, not allowing himself to ejaculate until he had brought me to at least 3 or 4 intense, earth-shattering climaxes first. And when he did finally blow his first load of the night deep inside my womb (I have always been a bareback-only kind of woman) while I encouraged him to fill me with his virile seed and Steve jacked off on my tits, I climaxed again...this time so hard that it took me 15 minutes to recuperate.
That one time was all it took. I knew with absolute certainty that I loved being "taken" by a huge, hard cocks even more than I thought I might. My fantasy really was now a reality...and, unlike many fantasies, the reality was actually better. Looking at this old photo of me watching Mr. Big slide that big dick in and out of me, pulling my pussy lips out around his cock and then burying it back inside of me again still turns me on today and brings back fond memories of the wonderful fucking and sucking we did for 4 years straight...I'm creaming my jeans as I write this post!
So, looking ahead to 2008, I've decided to get back to my "roots" as a hotwife, and I'm going to make it a point to be on the prowl for more guys packing the kind of huge cocks that really take my breath away. Phew...I'm hot just thinking about it...time to masturbate!